My 2009 and Beyond

My New Year became very very interesting after a Tarot Card reading made by my sister's friend. At first I was a bit nervous and queasy, not only because the cards look gory and scary, but the fact that everything will unfold right before my eyes, my thoughts, future, & my issues.



The thing about tarot card reading is that it not only gives you a glimpse of your future, but more importantly (and im speaking for myself), it makes you understand yourself better. It's not always that you have someone who verbalizes your weaknesses and anything that goes through your mind. Though we have our family and friends who can pointblankly say what's wrong with us, still there will always be things that we want to keep to ourselves, things that we are unsure of and afraid to admit. Giving that person the power to "read" you and point out your issues is a very humbling experience. This made me realize more about who I am and who I want to be.

I've always been a very quiet person, with only my trusted friends who I confide to. But since it was once my resolution to be more "welcoming" to other after some of my colleaugues told me I'm intimidating, I thought this was the way to go, be more trusting and friendly. Hearing people that I already learned to trust and respect and their cunning tendencies really got me upset. Sometimes we do notice these, yet we choose to disregard or even consider it,because of the faith we have in the person and the friendship. We even torture ourselves for even thinking about it and feel guilty all along. But hey life is really unfair, who even made you think that everyone will embrace you?

Sometimes we have these thoughts that we already know the answers yet we still need to hear from other people before we do it. It's that little "push" that we're waiting for which gives us that encouragement to go for it. It's not only because of the assurance of success or failure of one thing that we're asking, but the courage it gives us to accept our defeat and the courage to claim our victory.

Despite this experience there are still millions of things on top of my mind. Just the assurance of my loved one's company and love, I brace myself for a 2009 that's more exciting, full of challenges ahd opportunities yet full of hope and faith.